Mike Shultz

Well, it seems the cat's out of the bag. Hi, folks, it's Mike Shultz here, coming to you posthumously from the great beyond. Seems I've checked out a bit earlier than my doctor's expected—now that's what I call an early retirement! Born in Pawtucket, RI on 08/08/1948, I was blessed with the gift of gab, charisma, and a surprisingly sharp mind. I mean, I could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves, so it's no wonder I ended up as a broker in the finance business.

Throughout my life, I moved around a bit, settling down in Newport, Rhode Island after a stint in San Antonio, TX. As a tennis player, I had a mean backhand. As a family man, I was the undefedfascdZCXzçc ccr (though I did occasionally forget to return the borrowed lawnmower). I was also quite fond of reminding everyone about that Heisman trophy I won in '65. It was my fifteen minutes of fame, after all.

I'm leaving behind my wonderful wife Delores, who has had the patience of a saint putting up with me all these years. I was ushered into the afterlife by my late parents, Rodney and Charlotte Schultz, who I'm sure were eager to catch up on all the shenanigans I've been up to.

So, here's to a life well-lived! Don't forget to swing by the memorial page and upload those embarrassing photos of me from the '70s. I'm sure we could all use a good laugh. And, please, share your memories of me. I'm eager to hear what you've got to say. Just remember, keep it light, keep it funny—just like I would have wanted. See you on the flip side, folks!